Earlier in October, I was blown away when a coworker said he had never seen a Star Wars movie all the way through. And when I made casual conversation about Star Wars, he got his movie titles mixed up. So I made him a handy-dandy Star Wars Guide to assist him in his coming Star Wars movie marathon. Here is that guide.

DOO dododoo dododo-do do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do dat-dat-dat dum DUM dadadee DA DAA dadadee DA DAA dadadee DA DAA dat dat dat DAAA

  • Theatrical Order and A Brief Summary:

Episode 4: A New Hope —

Darth Vader captures Princess Leia Organa. Luke Skywalker teams up with Ben (Obi-Wan) Kenobi, Han Solo, and Chewbacca to rescue her. Gallantry and space battles and innovative (for the 70s) special effects.

Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back —

The Rebel base on Hoth is destroyed (oh no!) Our heroes split up. Luke Skywalker continues his Jedi training with Master Yoda while Leia and Han evade the Empire. More gallantry this time with some romance.

Episode 6: Return of the Jedi —

There is a second Death Star in town (shit). Han leads a ground team with Leia and Chewy while Luke finally confronts Darth Vader. Featuring ewoks, who are teddy bear-shaped badasses, ignore the haters.

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace —

My, my, this here Anakin guy / Maybe Vader someday later / Now he’s just a small fry / And he left his home and kissed his mama good-bye / Saying Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi / Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi — Weird Al Jankovic

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones — 

Someone wants Senator Amidala dead! Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker are called in to help. While Obi-Wan investigates the people behind the assassination attempts, Anakin and Amidala go into hiding and kickstart the most awkward romance in cinematic history.

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith —

The rise of the Empire also features the fall of the Jedi and the coming of Darth Vader. Luke and Lea cameo as infants.

  • Chronological order:
    1. The Phantom Menace
    2. Attack of the Clones
    3. Revenge of the Sith
    4. A New Hope
    5. The Empire Strikes Back
    6. Return of the Jedi
  • Marathon order (recommended for newcomers):
    1. A New Hope
    2. The Empire Strkes Back
    3. The Phantom Menace
    4. Attack of the Clones
    5. Revenge of the Sith
    6. Return of the Jedi